Silas' Birth Story

Chris and I always wanted 3 children together. Silas is our last blessing and boy is he a blessing!  This smile is only 6 days new.  It's out of emotion, not a gas smile.  Eli & Zane both gave us their first smiles around 1 month.  I'm big on "FaceTime" with each baby. I was at the average 8-10 inches away from his face, singing to him, stopped, made a big "surprised" face and this was the result.  His smile starts in his eyes....then he smiles with his whole face! This smile was so early and so genuine.  I cried when he gave it to me.  This photo has gotten me through some tough moments the past 2 months.  All I have to do is look at it to feel good again, and SMILE.

Silas' Birth Story is anything but "normal".  Whatever normal is for Birth.  Each one is so different. We were given a "mis"diagnosis of Polyhydramnois when I was 27 weeks pregnant.  An Ultrasound showed he was in the 97th percentile and there was too much amniotic fluid in the womb.  We were told a long list of conditions that could be ailing our sweet baby boy at my next appointment. It probably wouldn't have concerned us too much, but my OB Doc moved my care from hers to a high risk doctors office  (One who I only saw twice all pregnancy), it was always the nurse practitioner.  She was great though. They requested I do weekly Ultrasounds and twice weekly stress tests on the baby.  It was a lot.  Thank you to ALL of our Prayer Warriors.  There were MANY and we appreciate you all so so much, always.  As the pregnancy progressed and all the testing came back good, it was made known that he was in fact....just.a.BIG.baby. He was:

He was the only baby who I was given an induction date for.  At 4 days overdue my Doc decided to stretch my cervix.  3 times in a row.  Ouch is an understatement.  It did the trick though.  By the time I reached the back door at home I had my first real contraction.  I cleaned up the house a bit, had some nervous energy....kept going until Memaw said "You better go rest while you can."  She was right.  I labored upstairs in bed for several hours.  As Chris was putting the boys down for nap I text him saying "we should go to the hospital soon", "REALLY"?, he replied.  "YES." He was nervous driving to the hospital.  I have to admit it was cute because he rarely ever gets nervous.  He said "you were so calm."  I had to keep my mind that way to prepare for delivery and I was so excited that we were FINALLY going to meet our baby boy.  

We arrived at the hospital, checked in and the midwife said the typical "well, we'll check her and see if we'll keep her or send her home."  Don't you love that?  My contractions were STRONG at this point and had been 1 minute apart for over an hour.  I was dilated to a 5.  At this point she saw on the Ultrasound that he was a very BIG baby AND turned backwards (sunny side up).  She was not specifically fond of epidurals, but she told me at check in.  You may want to get an epidural because this may be a rough labor/delivery. 

It wasn't long before I screamed for an epidural.  The anesthesiologist arrived and gave it to me in between those 1 minute contractions.  It didn't work.  I've never had one not work.  I wasn't getting a break in between these 1 minute contractions to even regroup.  I've had back labor with each baby, but this was entirely different.  The pain was unbearable because he was turned backwards.  I was screaming for another epidural.  Each strong contraction made me vomit. (sorry if TMI).  I vomited so many times that I had nothing left to get out. It was awful.  They sent a different anesthesiologist in for a second epidural.  This one didn't work entirely either!  There was a large spot on my left abdomen that never had any relief.  Then it wore off.  Every 2 hours they had to give me more.  After 12 hours of labor, baby boy was still in the wrong position.  Chris sent out a prayer request to all our family and prayer warriors asking for prayer that the baby turn.  

They gave me one more dose of epidural in my back.  Chris hadn't eaten or even left my side ONCE since we'd arrived at the hospital.  I sent him downstairs to eat, the nurses rolled me on my side and placed a big peanut ball in between my knees.  Our hope was that Silas would turn in the womb as he still had some water to swim in.  I laid there for an hour and prayed prayed prayed.  The next check. Silas had turned...on his OWN!  Miracle?  I say YES.  The nursed and Docs said that just doesn't happen.  My midwife said the next morning that I was going in for a C-Section had he not turned.  Thank you Jesus!

When he was born, all we saw was pure beauty (and a BIG baby).  Much to our surprise he was 9.5 pounds!  The Docs and nurses were amazing during labor.  Its as so intense that one nurse did not leave my side for 12 hours (like Chris). They were shocked that he was THAT big and said "you made it look easy."  Haha, ya right. We didn't realize until awhile after, that his face was 3 times the size it would normally be, so swollen, black and blue and red.  His forehead was purple from being so black and blue.  It was trauma from being turned backwards during each contraction. Poor baby!  He was HEALTHY though and that's what mattered.  He's still healthy.  We had an upper GI 2 weeks ago to rule out any GI issues.  Everything looked great.  He has mild silent reflux but thats it.  We are extremely grateful he is healthy and here.  Silas Josey Bruce.  Born on 11.18.15 at 3:15 am. He's sweeter than honey. 

Thank you all again for covering baby and I in prayer while he was in the womb.  

Love, 

The Bruce's 

Hands Free Mama Mode

Here's our family blog for anyone who'd like to stay in contact over the next 6 months. 

Here's the book that planted the seed, starting in March of this year:

I've spoke to many of my close girlfriends about this over the past month and they admit, we are all too attached to our phones. Many of us are SO dependent on technology that the author recommends starting in 10 min. increments. She doesn't recommend deleting Facebook, ignoring responsibilities, etc.  There's nothing wrong with FB. This is a temporary "Unplugged" time, so it's not just FB. We LOVE it to stay connected to Family and Friends, so I will be back. For now, we have this blog and text, phone and FaceTime. :)

Living "Hands Free" means making a conscious decision to giving your undivided attention to someone or something meaningful in your life. I raised Jalen without a smart phone as a single Mama for 9 years. It doesn't mean I wasn't distracted, but he turned out to be a WONDERFUL sweet boy! My boys now deserve the same. ALL of me.

Thanks to my son's stepmom, Elisha for recommending this book a year and a half ago! It's taken that long of listening little by little and I'm still not half way through the CDs. Thanks to my friends & family for understanding. To a dear friend and a Challenger in my recent September group who I've always admired for living "in the moment", Laura Burrill! You all inspire me.

I LOVE Coaching and helping others and hope to be back this Summer, if that's God's plan for me. Ultimately, I'm grateful to God for calling me to grow more "in Him". These moments don't seem to happen often. Any "free" moments I may have (while nursing, etc), need to be spent in my Bible App (I've never read the Bible from start to finish), or in my list of parenting books. (YAY for reading again). This isn't a negative thing or me withdrawing. We're mostly through the newborn stage and ready for playdates again. ;) We have two next week! I'll be attending Grace Bible Church's women's study on Wednesday mornings (yay for child care there). That'll be my "Mommy break" and I'm excited for the new Study we'll be doing (The Armor of God).

I'd like to leave you with what first caught my attention in this book:

Discomfort often comes before growth

Hurt before healing

Regret before promise

By going to the darkest places in our soul, we find LIGHT

Grasp the moments that MATTER

Family CCC "Central Command Center"

Does anyone else struggle with organization like me?  Recently I missed the boys' once a month scheduled play time at our local daycare on Base.  I received a "warning".  If I miss one more time, I get a second warning, then the boys can't attend again for 30 days!

With our weekly baby doc appts on the horizon, Eli starting school, bills piled up and never opened, my coaching business at home, etc....it was TIME for a CCC!  This is a central place for the family to stay organized and have important papers, etc ALL in one place. It's a place to "Check in" for calendar and daily to do lists, meal plans, school business, etc. Here are my tips in case you decide to start also:

Find a central place that works for everyone. Make your list of "must have's for your family":

Ours were:

* Monthly Calendar - without it our life is a MESS (still filling it in)

* File Hanger - 
1. Financial Peace (contains our budget, incoming-pending-paid(to file) folders
2. Mommy & Daddy folder (for all things important) ;) & a BABY file for all baby's papers
3. Eli's school folder (found this cute anchor folder for his new "Anchor" school) :)

* Corkboard - Important invite cards, lists, etc

* White board - Inspirational quotes, important reminders, etc

* Clipboard to print out weekly or monthly meal plans - a MUST as I haven't been doing it

* Basket - Backpack drop off

To my fellow Coaches, Sisters, Friends, Family - PREPARATION is KEY as we KNOW.  What better time to get organized than having the Fall season on the horizon?  Hope this may help you with a few ideas anyway.  We'll be focusing on Meal Prepping ALOT in Sept! I'll be sharing a Meal Plan template that you can print for your home too.  

xo, Melissa

Tough Love

It's 6am.  Both boys are still asleep and Mama is writing! This started as a Facebook post, but it had to become a blog. ;)

We have a small amount of time to leave a very BIG impact on our children.  We have found what Chris calls “our Godsend book” on Parenting.  Hallelujah! We have more peace in our home, more calmness, more respect. We're still applying the principles we've learned and still have days that are more challenging than others. You'll always have challenging days as parents. But, we've seen major improvement in Eli's behavior, by us as parents learning how to give more “tough love.” There have only been a handful of times in our marriage when Chris and I have both been praying about the same thing, not knowingly, then received the same “internal knowing” at about the same time. That’s when you know God is working!  It’s truly a gift. Chris read over half this entire book in ONE night on the Sub.  He came home a changed man and Dad.  HE inspired me to read it, after I'd bugged him about 10 times that "we" need to read it. haha. That's how good this book is. ;) When we find something amazing, I HAVE to share it.  That's how I was made.

We believe each child is different, unlike the "all children are the same and should be treated the same mentality." Or "children should be seen not heard" mentality. Jalen, Eli and Zane are all so different. There are some good principles that can be used on all children though. When we had first moved to Virginia Beach, we were introduced to an OLD 1980's concept of parenting which I won't mention here.  That lasted a few months before we realized it wasn't for us. We met with a Christian Counselor a few months ago also who highly discouraged us from that old fashioned parenting style.  Which was also Christian based, but that doesn't mean it was good. I'd been following my motherly instincts mostly, while praying, reading, researching, talking to family and friends.  My mother in law has helped me a lot and during our last conversation, I said "we want to get Eli to WANT to listen to us."  That's the goal. Then one day..........

Chris and I both woke and realized how much stress we had been carrying trying everything we could think of with Eli. He is our extremely intelligent, extremely strong-willed sweetheart, who….thought he was the BOSS. A 3 year old BOSS.  I remember trying to get him to climb into his carseat one day as we were trying to hurry to get somewhere on time.  I said "Eli I'm your mother, you need to listen to me."  He said "No, you're not my Mother, you're my Mom." I said, "Ok, I'm your Mom, but I'm the boss." haha.  He said, 'No, I'm the boss!" 

Guess what?  That’s on US.  On us as parents. This doesn't mean he wasn't polite, sweet, loving, well mannered, caring, protective, okay.....the sweetest lil man EVER, etc.  He's always been ALL of that and overall a good boy.  There were some things we really needed to work on though.  When God is calling us to make a change within our hearts, our lives, our family....you will KNOW it.  The seed will be planted in your heart and mind.  That seed will continue to grow and grow until you finally tend to it, water it and let it bloom!

Beachbody has helped me grow as a person in more areas than I can count.  We focus on personal development in our online trainings and are surrounded by many uplifting, loving, Christ loving women who help us BE the best version of ourselves. They give us a list of PD books (personal development) books to help us grow.  I decided to put "my" personal development on hold when God made it very clear that my personal development had to FIRST start at home, as a mother.  I had to put a hold on all trainings for a month, purchase this book and start applying the principles laid out before us in our parenting. I feel more whole, more complete, more in line with what God has planned for our lives now. I learned to give the ladies in our challenge group "tough love" and it WORKED!  I announced that If they went MIA for more than 3 days, I would have to remove them from our group (aside from sickness).  After a week or so, I realized if I can give these ladies "tough love", I can (and need to) give Eli some "tough love."  Hence, the planted seed. **Thanks to my Upline Coach Lindsay, for teaching me about Tough Love.

Parenting is NOT something to take lightly.  We aren't merely "getting by" or "getting through" our days.  We have THE most important job there is....being a parent.  We want to raise children with good Character.  As Doctor Leman says "Character is not only everything, it's the only thing in the long run."  It is the foundation for your attitude and behavior.  Think long term.  What type of adults are we creating?  If you are ready to look at YOU as the parent and how you can best support your child/children, then this book is for YOU. =) It doesn't matter if they are 1 or 35.  These principles will STILL help.  Of course, the earlier the better.  

This book focuses on:

"say it once, turn your back, walk away" (Tough Love)

"letting reality be the teacher" which is usually enough discipline in itself

"learning to respond rather than react" don't let your emotions get the better of you

"B" doesn't happen until "A" is completed. Period.

"learning responsibility, accountability, and establishing a healthy self worth"

It's amazing.  Simply put.  I'll be sharing the book and an invite for our May Mommies Group late today.  We already have a few spots taken, but I have a few open still to offer to any Mommies who feel this may be for them.

xo, Melissa

Dry erase marker anyone?

I'll be the first to admit...our life has been disorganized for AWHILE.  3 moves in 1 year on top of "I"ve not been THE most organized person in the past."

That's ALL changing in the Bruce home.  2015 is about SIMPLICITY.  Project by project, I've been slowly minimizing and organizing.  This particular one took 2 hours this week.  It'll save us much more time than that though! Quality time is my #1 love language so ANYthing time saving makes me SUPER happy!!! I didn't know I could be this excited about an organized fridge. lol

15 committed ladies and I are about to start a 21 day Challenge Group on Monday!  I was getting ready to start meal prepping when I looked in my fridge and not only saw a disaster, but smelt it too! Oiiyyy! I thought, how am I going to lead these ladies through meal prepping if I can't even get myself organized?  Can you say "LIGHT BULB" :)?  That was it.  The idea popped in my head and I HAD to see it through.  Chris came home to a BIG mess, but he was happy with the finished product. He actually said "You did me proud babe" ha. Here it is.  I hope it helps you:

~Breakfast shelf
~Lunch shelf
~USE ME section for opened products
~Meats and Cheese's are now in the boys' old TOY BIN
(hopefully we don't forget about them and waste less food now)
~MEAL PREPPED shelf. Ahhhh. Love!
~Daddy can grab his and go each morning

BUT WAIT!  This is what I'm MOST excited about. The THAWING drawer!  aka (old lunch meat and cheese drawer).  I put 2 servings of frozen split pea soup, frozen bananas, peas and frozen peaches for Zane ALL in to thaw for the next day.  

If anything leaks, it won't be as hard to clean up now. :)

Veggie drawer of course:

Another Fav. :)
Eli and Zane drawer.  
Zane crawled right up to it, put his hand on it and said "uh uh" meaning "i want, i want."

Of course we can't forget the freezer!  This is where this project started.  Each shelf is numbered, in hopes to not "forget about food in here."  I can open the freezer, look at the ice maker here and say "oh, I have 2 bags of wild berries I can use, etc"

Finished project:

Lastly, I added the tally in our milk section so I know if we're out or getting close to being out of one. As you can see, we're out of Coconut and Almond milk.  If we're good, there's a + sign.  I KNOW, I'm the nerd in the relationship.  It works though, makes meal prepping and our days easier AND makes me happy everytime I open our fridge! 
Milk shelf, salad fixins' shelf, sauces shelf, condiments shelf:

NOW it's time to get preppin'! Meal prepping that is. Boys are napping so Mama will be in the kitchen.  Grab your dry erase markers and go! :)

Zane's Birth Story

I've had many friends ask for Zane's birth story.  Guess what, he's a year old and I just wrote it at 3am after he woke to nurse.  Eek! It's etched in my mind forever though.

Dec. 1st (his due date) had come and gone.  Chris and I went into my midwife appt at noon on Dec. 2nd. She stripped my membranes (sorry guys) to "speed things along"and accidentally BROKE my water.  There was water all over. She's handing Chris paper towels and telling him to help clean up. LOL His look was priceless!  It made me laugh in the moment.  This meant...it was BABY day! :)

We drove home and within an hour contractions were starting...strong and 2 minutes apart. We grabbed our hospital bag, kissed Eli goodbye and left him at home with Bumpa and Umma (so grateful they were there).

I had a plan.  A plan to savor each moment of this delivery. A plan to have a natural (present) birth. I had labored 7 hrs straight with Eli before I asked for an epidural. I had fought each contraction with Eli, not breathed through them.  Determined not to do that with Zane, here we go!

My labor kit included doterra lavender essential oil (MUST), my favorite herbal heat pack (I've had back labor with each baby), our playlists with my driving force (worship music), chap stick, hair ties, cough drops, breathing techniques, etc. 

We had a birthing room with a whirlpool tub, Oiyyy! I was so excited. After the contractions really strengthened and got closer together, they approved me getting in. It helped relax me in between, but once the contractions started to peak, I soon realized the pain I was in. It was all okay though because I was surrendering through them.  I was letting go and letting God.  It was beautiful. We had our Jesus Culture playing loud, bathroom light dimmed, room smelled of lavender and the love of my life was holding my hand. After an hour I started vomiting from the pain. It was time to get out and get ready. 

This labor was different.  I felt like each contraction was a prayer.  I was so (in the spirit) and (in the moment).  See, I knew that I had to be strong for my lil baby because he was so strong for me.  We had two scares in the womb.  The first at 16 weeks pregnant.  The night before we were to start our drive across Country to Virginia.  I started hemorrhaging, had two tears in my uterus and we left the ER with a 50/50 chance of a miscarriage. Thanks to all our prayer warriors for your love and prayers. God delivered.  He protected our baby in the womb.  Then at 32 weeks, he tried to arrive early.  After 2 IV's and medicine to stop the labor, we got to go home. 

The internal knowing of Zane's strength, my worship music, lavender oil, my husband and knowing the blessing God was gifting us...allowed me to stay strong mentally through this labor.  I had vomited so much towards the end from pain, that I asked for an epidural, but it was so late.  Correction, I screamed for an epidural.  After an hour of pushing, our sweet sweet baby boy arrived. His labor was 8 hours from start to finish. He had such a sweet gentle presence immediately. He barely made a coo.  He didn't cry. He's still that way.  Oh my.  Now I'm crying. Ahh, God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!!

Happy ONE year Birthday baby Zane!! Love, Mom

Our best kept Lil secret. Training Eli and Gracie:

We decided to expand our family 3 weeks ago. :) There had been a void since we had to find Chico a new home. He was a chihuahua and too territorial after Eli was born. He bit Eli twice in the face. We knew we wanted to stay clear of small dogs this time. When Chris left for training last month he planted the seed that we were ready for a dog. I wasn't too sure myself but after he left I was a bit scared in this new house without him.  I realized now may actually be a good time to help Eli stay distracted while Dada is away. We also have 3 months to get the puppy trained before BB#2 arrives if we do it now. Our boys could have a dog to grow up with! The hunt was on. We knew the costs involved with a new puppy; shots, supplies, spade/neutering, etc. which meant we couldn't pay $800+ for a pure breed dog too. Chris found several online in our area and we were checking humane societies. Then he found an Australian Shepherd/Black Lab for a $50 rehoming fee! Eli and I drove 30 mins to Chesapeake and met her previous owner. She was a hair dresser and realized after a short time that it wasn't fair to leave Gracie home alone while she worked. She cried when she told her goodbye but knew she needed a new home. She's possibly the only girl I'll ever have. :) She is such a sweetheart, herds and plays with Eli and sits on command.  Meet Gracie:

It has been a learning experience for me and a trying 3 weeks training both of them, but SO worth it.  Daddy said today "I think she's potty trained" and that made my day! She still has her occasional accidents but is doing much better. Believe me on Day #2, this Momma was ready to give her back to her previous owner (who was on standby just in case) but we stuck it out and we're so happy we did.  All the hard work is truly worth it for the joy she brings our family....especially Eli!  

We brought Gracie home the day after Daddy left for training in Connecticut so he hadn't met her yet. Here they are meeting for the first time last night!

 
We're not just biased, she is just plain smart.  (Although Chris say's she has smart owner's) haha. She sits the minute we grab her leash and sits again when we come back inside for us to take it off (without telling her to).  She sits on command and listens.  Chris came home and taught her how to drop while playing fetch and "down" in the first day.  I'm convinced he's the "Gracie whisperer".

I fell in love with her on Day #3 and after 3 weeks, she is definitely part of our family. We can't wait for all our visitors this Fall/Winter to meet her!  Love you all, The Bruce's

Okay one last pic.  This was her sitting in the passenger seat on the way back from her 2nd set of shots this week.  Too cute: