Hands Free Mama Mode

Here's our family blog for anyone who'd like to stay in contact over the next 6 months. 

Here's the book that planted the seed, starting in March of this year:

I've spoke to many of my close girlfriends about this over the past month and they admit, we are all too attached to our phones. Many of us are SO dependent on technology that the author recommends starting in 10 min. increments. She doesn't recommend deleting Facebook, ignoring responsibilities, etc.  There's nothing wrong with FB. This is a temporary "Unplugged" time, so it's not just FB. We LOVE it to stay connected to Family and Friends, so I will be back. For now, we have this blog and text, phone and FaceTime. :)

Living "Hands Free" means making a conscious decision to giving your undivided attention to someone or something meaningful in your life. I raised Jalen without a smart phone as a single Mama for 9 years. It doesn't mean I wasn't distracted, but he turned out to be a WONDERFUL sweet boy! My boys now deserve the same. ALL of me.

Thanks to my son's stepmom, Elisha for recommending this book a year and a half ago! It's taken that long of listening little by little and I'm still not half way through the CDs. Thanks to my friends & family for understanding. To a dear friend and a Challenger in my recent September group who I've always admired for living "in the moment", Laura Burrill! You all inspire me.

I LOVE Coaching and helping others and hope to be back this Summer, if that's God's plan for me. Ultimately, I'm grateful to God for calling me to grow more "in Him". These moments don't seem to happen often. Any "free" moments I may have (while nursing, etc), need to be spent in my Bible App (I've never read the Bible from start to finish), or in my list of parenting books. (YAY for reading again). This isn't a negative thing or me withdrawing. We're mostly through the newborn stage and ready for playdates again. ;) We have two next week! I'll be attending Grace Bible Church's women's study on Wednesday mornings (yay for child care there). That'll be my "Mommy break" and I'm excited for the new Study we'll be doing (The Armor of God).

I'd like to leave you with what first caught my attention in this book:

Discomfort often comes before growth

Hurt before healing

Regret before promise

By going to the darkest places in our soul, we find LIGHT

Grasp the moments that MATTER

Family CCC "Central Command Center"

Does anyone else struggle with organization like me?  Recently I missed the boys' once a month scheduled play time at our local daycare on Base.  I received a "warning".  If I miss one more time, I get a second warning, then the boys can't attend again for 30 days!

With our weekly baby doc appts on the horizon, Eli starting school, bills piled up and never opened, my coaching business at home, etc....it was TIME for a CCC!  This is a central place for the family to stay organized and have important papers, etc ALL in one place. It's a place to "Check in" for calendar and daily to do lists, meal plans, school business, etc. Here are my tips in case you decide to start also:

Find a central place that works for everyone. Make your list of "must have's for your family":

Ours were:

* Monthly Calendar - without it our life is a MESS (still filling it in)

* File Hanger - 
1. Financial Peace (contains our budget, incoming-pending-paid(to file) folders
2. Mommy & Daddy folder (for all things important) ;) & a BABY file for all baby's papers
3. Eli's school folder (found this cute anchor folder for his new "Anchor" school) :)

* Corkboard - Important invite cards, lists, etc

* White board - Inspirational quotes, important reminders, etc

* Clipboard to print out weekly or monthly meal plans - a MUST as I haven't been doing it

* Basket - Backpack drop off

To my fellow Coaches, Sisters, Friends, Family - PREPARATION is KEY as we KNOW.  What better time to get organized than having the Fall season on the horizon?  Hope this may help you with a few ideas anyway.  We'll be focusing on Meal Prepping ALOT in Sept! I'll be sharing a Meal Plan template that you can print for your home too.  

xo, Melissa

Tough Love

It's 6am.  Both boys are still asleep and Mama is writing! This started as a Facebook post, but it had to become a blog. ;)

We have a small amount of time to leave a very BIG impact on our children.  We have found what Chris calls “our Godsend book” on Parenting.  Hallelujah! We have more peace in our home, more calmness, more respect. We're still applying the principles we've learned and still have days that are more challenging than others. You'll always have challenging days as parents. But, we've seen major improvement in Eli's behavior, by us as parents learning how to give more “tough love.” There have only been a handful of times in our marriage when Chris and I have both been praying about the same thing, not knowingly, then received the same “internal knowing” at about the same time. That’s when you know God is working!  It’s truly a gift. Chris read over half this entire book in ONE night on the Sub.  He came home a changed man and Dad.  HE inspired me to read it, after I'd bugged him about 10 times that "we" need to read it. haha. That's how good this book is. ;) When we find something amazing, I HAVE to share it.  That's how I was made.

We believe each child is different, unlike the "all children are the same and should be treated the same mentality." Or "children should be seen not heard" mentality. Jalen, Eli and Zane are all so different. There are some good principles that can be used on all children though. When we had first moved to Virginia Beach, we were introduced to an OLD 1980's concept of parenting which I won't mention here.  That lasted a few months before we realized it wasn't for us. We met with a Christian Counselor a few months ago also who highly discouraged us from that old fashioned parenting style.  Which was also Christian based, but that doesn't mean it was good. I'd been following my motherly instincts mostly, while praying, reading, researching, talking to family and friends.  My mother in law has helped me a lot and during our last conversation, I said "we want to get Eli to WANT to listen to us."  That's the goal. Then one day..........

Chris and I both woke and realized how much stress we had been carrying trying everything we could think of with Eli. He is our extremely intelligent, extremely strong-willed sweetheart, who….thought he was the BOSS. A 3 year old BOSS.  I remember trying to get him to climb into his carseat one day as we were trying to hurry to get somewhere on time.  I said "Eli I'm your mother, you need to listen to me."  He said "No, you're not my Mother, you're my Mom." I said, "Ok, I'm your Mom, but I'm the boss." haha.  He said, 'No, I'm the boss!" 

Guess what?  That’s on US.  On us as parents. This doesn't mean he wasn't polite, sweet, loving, well mannered, caring, protective, okay.....the sweetest lil man EVER, etc.  He's always been ALL of that and overall a good boy.  There were some things we really needed to work on though.  When God is calling us to make a change within our hearts, our lives, our family....you will KNOW it.  The seed will be planted in your heart and mind.  That seed will continue to grow and grow until you finally tend to it, water it and let it bloom!

Beachbody has helped me grow as a person in more areas than I can count.  We focus on personal development in our online trainings and are surrounded by many uplifting, loving, Christ loving women who help us BE the best version of ourselves. They give us a list of PD books (personal development) books to help us grow.  I decided to put "my" personal development on hold when God made it very clear that my personal development had to FIRST start at home, as a mother.  I had to put a hold on all trainings for a month, purchase this book and start applying the principles laid out before us in our parenting. I feel more whole, more complete, more in line with what God has planned for our lives now. I learned to give the ladies in our challenge group "tough love" and it WORKED!  I announced that If they went MIA for more than 3 days, I would have to remove them from our group (aside from sickness).  After a week or so, I realized if I can give these ladies "tough love", I can (and need to) give Eli some "tough love."  Hence, the planted seed. **Thanks to my Upline Coach Lindsay, for teaching me about Tough Love.

Parenting is NOT something to take lightly.  We aren't merely "getting by" or "getting through" our days.  We have THE most important job there is....being a parent.  We want to raise children with good Character.  As Doctor Leman says "Character is not only everything, it's the only thing in the long run."  It is the foundation for your attitude and behavior.  Think long term.  What type of adults are we creating?  If you are ready to look at YOU as the parent and how you can best support your child/children, then this book is for YOU. =) It doesn't matter if they are 1 or 35.  These principles will STILL help.  Of course, the earlier the better.  

This book focuses on:

"say it once, turn your back, walk away" (Tough Love)

"letting reality be the teacher" which is usually enough discipline in itself

"learning to respond rather than react" don't let your emotions get the better of you

"B" doesn't happen until "A" is completed. Period.

"learning responsibility, accountability, and establishing a healthy self worth"

It's amazing.  Simply put.  I'll be sharing the book and an invite for our May Mommies Group late today.  We already have a few spots taken, but I have a few open still to offer to any Mommies who feel this may be for them.

xo, Melissa

Dry erase marker anyone?

I'll be the first to admit...our life has been disorganized for AWHILE.  3 moves in 1 year on top of "I"ve not been THE most organized person in the past."

That's ALL changing in the Bruce home.  2015 is about SIMPLICITY.  Project by project, I've been slowly minimizing and organizing.  This particular one took 2 hours this week.  It'll save us much more time than that though! Quality time is my #1 love language so ANYthing time saving makes me SUPER happy!!! I didn't know I could be this excited about an organized fridge. lol

15 committed ladies and I are about to start a 21 day Challenge Group on Monday!  I was getting ready to start meal prepping when I looked in my fridge and not only saw a disaster, but smelt it too! Oiiyyy! I thought, how am I going to lead these ladies through meal prepping if I can't even get myself organized?  Can you say "LIGHT BULB" :)?  That was it.  The idea popped in my head and I HAD to see it through.  Chris came home to a BIG mess, but he was happy with the finished product. He actually said "You did me proud babe" ha. Here it is.  I hope it helps you:

~Breakfast shelf
~Lunch shelf
~USE ME section for opened products
~Meats and Cheese's are now in the boys' old TOY BIN
(hopefully we don't forget about them and waste less food now)
~MEAL PREPPED shelf. Ahhhh. Love!
~Daddy can grab his and go each morning

BUT WAIT!  This is what I'm MOST excited about. The THAWING drawer!  aka (old lunch meat and cheese drawer).  I put 2 servings of frozen split pea soup, frozen bananas, peas and frozen peaches for Zane ALL in to thaw for the next day.  

If anything leaks, it won't be as hard to clean up now. :)

Veggie drawer of course:

Another Fav. :)
Eli and Zane drawer.  
Zane crawled right up to it, put his hand on it and said "uh uh" meaning "i want, i want."

Of course we can't forget the freezer!  This is where this project started.  Each shelf is numbered, in hopes to not "forget about food in here."  I can open the freezer, look at the ice maker here and say "oh, I have 2 bags of wild berries I can use, etc"

Finished project:

Lastly, I added the tally in our milk section so I know if we're out or getting close to being out of one. As you can see, we're out of Coconut and Almond milk.  If we're good, there's a + sign.  I KNOW, I'm the nerd in the relationship.  It works though, makes meal prepping and our days easier AND makes me happy everytime I open our fridge! 
Milk shelf, salad fixins' shelf, sauces shelf, condiments shelf:

NOW it's time to get preppin'! Meal prepping that is. Boys are napping so Mama will be in the kitchen.  Grab your dry erase markers and go! :)