We have a small amount of time to leave a very BIG impact on our children. We have found what Chris calls “our Godsend book” on Parenting. Hallelujah! We have more peace in our home, more calmness, more respect. We're still applying the principles we've learned and still have days that are more challenging than others. You'll always have challenging days as parents. But, we've seen major improvement in Eli's behavior, by us as parents learning how to give more “tough love.” There have only been a handful of times in our marriage when Chris and I have both been praying about the same thing, not knowingly, then received the same “internal knowing” at about the same time. That’s when you know God is working! It’s truly a gift. Chris read over half this entire book in ONE night on the Sub. He came home a changed man and Dad. HE inspired me to read it, after I'd bugged him about 10 times that "we" need to read it. haha. That's how good this book is. ;) When we find something amazing, I HAVE to share it. That's how I was made.
We believe each child is different, unlike the "all children are the same and should be treated the same mentality." Or "children should be seen not heard" mentality. Jalen, Eli and Zane are all so different. There are some good principles that can be used on all children though. When we had first moved to Virginia Beach, we were introduced to an OLD 1980's concept of parenting which I won't mention here. That lasted a few months before we realized it wasn't for us. We met with a Christian Counselor a few months ago also who highly discouraged us from that old fashioned parenting style. Which was also Christian based, but that doesn't mean it was good. I'd been following my motherly instincts mostly, while praying, reading, researching, talking to family and friends. My mother in law has helped me a lot and during our last conversation, I said "we want to get Eli to WANT to listen to us." That's the goal. Then one day..........
Chris and I both woke and realized how much stress we had been carrying trying everything we could think of with Eli. He is our extremely intelligent, extremely strong-willed sweetheart, who….thought he was the BOSS. A 3 year old BOSS. I remember trying to get him to climb into his carseat one day as we were trying to hurry to get somewhere on time. I said "Eli I'm your mother, you need to listen to me." He said "No, you're not my Mother, you're my Mom." I said, "Ok, I'm your Mom, but I'm the boss." haha. He said, 'No, I'm the boss!"
Guess what? That’s on US. On us as parents. This doesn't mean he wasn't polite, sweet, loving, well mannered, caring, protective, okay.....the sweetest lil man EVER, etc. He's always been ALL of that and overall a good boy. There were some things we really needed to work on though. When God is calling us to make a change within our hearts, our lives, our family....you will KNOW it. The seed will be planted in your heart and mind. That seed will continue to grow and grow until you finally tend to it, water it and let it bloom!
Beachbody has helped me grow as a person in more areas than I can count. We focus on personal development in our online trainings and are surrounded by many uplifting, loving, Christ loving women who help us BE the best version of ourselves. They give us a list of PD books (personal development) books to help us grow. I decided to put "my" personal development on hold when God made it very clear that my personal development had to FIRST start at home, as a mother. I had to put a hold on all trainings for a month, purchase this book and start applying the principles laid out before us in our parenting. I feel more whole, more complete, more in line with what God has planned for our lives now. I learned to give the ladies in our challenge group "tough love" and it WORKED! I announced that If they went MIA for more than 3 days, I would have to remove them from our group (aside from sickness). After a week or so, I realized if I can give these ladies "tough love", I can (and need to) give Eli some "tough love." Hence, the planted seed. **Thanks to my Upline Coach Lindsay, for teaching me about Tough Love.
Parenting is NOT something to take lightly. We aren't merely "getting by" or "getting through" our days. We have THE most important job there is....being a parent. We want to raise children with good Character. As Doctor Leman says "Character is not only everything, it's the only thing in the long run." It is the foundation for your attitude and behavior. Think long term. What type of adults are we creating? If you are ready to look at YOU as the parent and how you can best support your child/children, then this book is for YOU. =) It doesn't matter if they are 1 or 35. These principles will STILL help. Of course, the earlier the better.
This book focuses on:
"say it once, turn your back, walk away" (Tough Love)
"letting reality be the teacher" which is usually enough discipline in itself
"learning to respond rather than react" don't let your emotions get the better of you
"B" doesn't happen until "A" is completed. Period.
"learning responsibility, accountability, and establishing a healthy self worth"
It's amazing. Simply put. I'll be sharing the book and an invite for our May Mommies Group late today. We already have a few spots taken, but I have a few open still to offer to any Mommies who feel this may be for them.
xo, Melissa
